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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in cdn_soldier's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, September 15th, 2005
6:22 am
Words that I hope will never be forgotten in time.
I read the hurtful letter that I have sent out to someone. I couldn’t believe it myself what I have said in this letter. It hurt so much to read such words but worst of all that letter was not sent to me, it was sent to one of my greatest friends. Someone who couldn’t hurt me in return.

I was digging through my small safe I keep under my bed. First time I dig through the whole thing in years. I came across some letters. A lot of letters. I have forgotten how much she really did care about me. She knew in return how much I cared about her and could never hurt her. But I did. I backstabbed her. For many years I played the rule as a good friend to turn too. Someone who doesn’t judge just listen to what they would have to say and then do what I can to say or do to help make things a little better. I couldn’t imagine how it must feel to have a close friend like that to just turn around some day and backstab me. But it happen. I was the one to turn on my friend and backstabbed her.

I work very hard helping many of my friends from old friends to people who I just met rather at a odd time or by mistake, I would work very hard to keep them happy and feel needed. I work so hard because its hard to see someone who is upset and I could never imagine seeing myself doing or saying anything to make those people upset. It is not my nature. But I know from reading this awful letter that I have.

I hurt someone,. Someone who I hold dear to me and I only have myself to blame. Whenever a friend of mine makes me upset. I would never leash out at them. I would talk with them and get there side of the story and that’s when I would find out the truth and turn out that everything is not what I thought it would be. For example. I was to meet my friend Hannah in Toronto for the day. I hop on the train and get to Toronto where we were to meet in the CNE. I call her cell phone at 1pm… then 1:30-2-3 every 15-20 minutes all the way to 8pm when I grabbed on the next train to go home without meeting my friend Hannah. I was never mad..a little upset but I knew the best thing to do is talk to her and I did. I found out she left her cell phone at home so there was no way for us to find out where to meet. If I came all yelling and screaming that would lead nowhere but fighting and anger at each other. I talked to her and found out what happened and now we are back to the best of friends. So many times that would happen to many of my friends. And everything would turn out for the best. But it bugs me on how I didn’t talk to my friend Francesca asking to see whats going on and her side of the story. If I wasn’t so blind and daft I would of learn how busy she was on her last few months of work in Disney world. The hard times being away from her great boyfriend Matt who she loves so much so it is very hard to be set apart a far distance and any of her personal problems that she could be having. But instead I didn’t wait. Me being upset only led to anger. A anger that shouldn’t of happen.

Something was wrong. Something was on her mind. On top of all her daily problems our little goodbye kiss was making things hard. She is deeply in love with her boyfriend and I had to plant a big problem on her laps with me kissing her on the cheek. For something so small for one person can mean so big for the next.
I found out that this was one of the reasons why she was upset with me was because of a e-mail I sent out where I way trying to learn the truth by force. All she could reply with was that I kissed her. I asked for the truth but I didn’t handle it well. Instead I write a very hurtful letter. Why did I have to write that letter and write things that I know were not true. I knew they were not true but I wrote them anyways. I don’t know why. I may have been hurt as well. But instead of trying to work out that problem I had to blow it all away.

It doesn’t matter how many nice things you can tell a person. Even if you say nice things to them everyday for a good set of years letting the feel loved. It can take one bad thing to say to end it all and turn people against you. Hurtful things mean more to people then nice things. And so one hurtful thing to many I lost a friend. We had to call it quits. On our last together I was hoping things would get patched up. Even though on that awful letter I wrote said I wanted it all to be over. But that was anger speaking on my behalf. Something that speaks not from my heart but from false words.

So when we last talked to each other I wanted it to end not in anger but in peace. But to tell the truth I did have a little hope that we could still hold on. But it all ended. There was so much I wish I could tell her. So much I wanted to do before it all ended. Yes we may not be friends anymore and I know she can never forgive me and that is ok and I can never blame her for not wanting to forgive me after my awful letter. There were so many nice things I wish I got to say about her before we left, things I should of said instaid of those hateful things. So many nice things that should have been said but now they will never be able to be heard again. Hopefully if there is a heaven and I really hope there is because that seems like whatever little hope I have in anything now is that there really is a heaven. I really hope that if I ever get to make it up there she can forgive me then. Because I know it could never happen down here. Who can forgive a friend who turns away from you, back stabs you, and say evil things all at once. I hurt someone, I really hurt someone. I failed at my job of being a good friend. That is something I have to live with as long as I live. Something I can never forget.

And as for the kiss. Even though we are now long gone and there is no more hope of seeing each other again or talking again. I really hope she can let go of that meaningless kiss and only see it as a sign of friendship that there once was. Just another way of saying goodbye. Like the fruity kisses Europeans do on each other. Living in America so long with her new American customs it wasn’t right for me to greet or say goodbye to anyone in America with a fruity kiss on the cheek. I’ll just stick with the handshake for now on.

I know there is a lot more I want to say but its getting late.

Current Mood: sympathetic
Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
11:47 pm
Ok, I am on my last few days till I go away for the longest summer of my life. 71 days or so. SO I am at the need where I wantto call my close friends on the phone. I don't know why but I am. At 3am I am calling Finland so...

Anyways. I called Hannah Bartman's house at 8pm and Hannah's sister picks up the phone and she tells me that Hannah will be back in a half hour. So I call back in a hour. Her mom picks up the phone. I thought it was her older sister again. She tells me she just left for her friend's house. So she asked if I can leave a message to give her. You know how I try to be funny. Well. As a joke I told her to tell Hannah that the sugar bag is empty. Yes, the sugar bag is empty. There was a long pause then she said "ok"

Now its 11pm at night and Hannah messages me on msn. She told me that her mom is fraking on her thinking she is doing drugs because some deep dark voice guy called saying the bag of sugar is empty... like if I was talking about drugs. I had no clue that her mom thinks that she is a druggie or somthing so that joke didnot go well. So Hannah was telling me how funny it was and she told me that her mother wants to speak with me and my parents. I was like OMG. First I thought she was joking with me because of my joke. But no... she told me the best thingfor me to do is to call her now before it gets to late. So I try calling. OMG this was a awful call. But to tell you the truth I thought i was gonna get yelled at by her mother. This is what sort of happend.

" Hello Mrs. Bartman. I do believe I owe you a apologise and I owe you a explanation about my bad joke. You see, I just came back from Disney world. I was the one who sent her the postcard if you have seen it. But Hannah loves my joke about how I forgot to eat a pound of sugar before entering the gates of Disney world. So as a joke to say I was in a happy mood I say that the bag of sugar is empty as my little inside joke.

Her mother says to me that Hannah had no clue what that bag of sugar thing was about. I was like..that’s right. That was weird because I just said that the sugar is her fav joke. So I kept on saying how sorry I was for the whole miss understanding. I was very slow in talking and the pauses were very very long. I bet she thought I was a druggie or something because of how slow I was talking. All I could really do was say how sorry I was and how I am known for really bad jokes so yeah, this didn’t go as well as I thought it would be.
But Hannah’s mom was a little upset. She wasn’t yelling. She was a little happy because she had a reason for yelling. Her and her mom don’t get along to well so her mom needs any excuse to yell at her. So after a good 8 minutes of what could have been sum up in 30 seconds..it was to awkward. Then we finished and hanged up.

I went back on msn to talk to Hannah and her friend Beth. Beth is the one who I sent that funny postcard that I showed you in your van. But Hannah thanks me for calling. I ask her befoe I called if she was mad at me..and she said no because this was just all too funny. Then her mom was now there to pick her up and its time for her and her mom to talk on the ride home. Now I am worried because when I called first and left my awful message about empty bags of sugar. Her mom called Hannah at her friend’s house and yelled on the phone.. So now they are person to person. I gotta call tomorrow afternoon to see how everything went.

You know that feeling when you do something small that its not till later you realize you have done something stupid.. You know that crappy feeling. I got that now. Its like shoplifting and making it out of the store clear. Then a day later the police show up with a video of a security camera catching you shoplift. That never happen to me before but just a example how it feels.
Friday, June 3rd, 2005
2:33 pm
Sanna and I are having our 6th anniversery somtime this month. We cannot remember the day only that it was mid June when we met in '99. She was turning 16 and I was turning 15 in November. Wow its amazing how we both will look back and notice how we have change. Body..mind..soul. In the past 6 years we only get to talk like once in every three to five months. The rest is all e-mail. First time ever talking was with mic's. we talked for 6 hours. All the way through we had no clue what to talk about untill the end when we were tired. Took us like 2 hours to say goodbye because then we would bring somthing up. It was hard to talk on msn because the delay, the audio was crummy and there was a drumming sound in the speakers makeing it hard to hear eachother.

So after so many years I was like, hey, why don't I call her. I hardly see her andm iss her so much on every gap. So as soon as I sent the e-mail out for her phone..same day I get the reply with her phone number. I call her cell phone with a 10 minute card. To Finland on a home phone is 9 cents a minute. She gave me her cell phone number to call because it was getting late. Like 50 cents a minute. We had only 20 minutes to talk. Felt like we talked for hours talking about everything to everyone. My plans, her plans, our plans, it was great. This was the first time ever that I could talk on the phone without a pause or wondering what to say next.

Its funny when I first tried calling I put in the number she gave me. This women picks up the phone. I thought I woke her. I asked with Sanna was there...she said who? I said again. Is Sanna there...Sanna Juutienen. How ever its spelt or said... then she says who is Dana? Then I said I must of got the wrong number. SO now I am tryingto call and dial differnt dials thinking she gave me the wrong number. Then Sanna pops in onto msn, I was thinking what a great time that was out of how long its been. Turns out she was the one who I first called. Thats when I knew not to call anyone with a big wad of gum in my mouth.

So I try calling her home phone today with a fresh $20 card. Her mum picks up and she doesn't speak a word of English. I try asking if Sanna is there and she had no clue what I was saying and hanged up. OH well I'll try calling again monday when I get back home. But it is so good to hear Sanna's voice. After the 20 minutes was up we were back on msn talking saying how good it was to talk to each other because now the phone was so clear because we were not using msn... so we really got to hear eachother's voices plus now that we are both adults and not 16 or 17 like back then when we mostly did talk with mics and now that its been 2 years or more since we used mics it was great to hear eachother for the very first time.
Monday, May 30th, 2005
3:09 am
This quiz was taken from Francesca's post.
I have funny answers for most of these questions so feel free to ask if you dare need to learn or know why?

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) smoked anything else
( ) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car

(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(X) been fired
(X) been in a fist fight

(x) snuck out of my parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date

(x) lied to a friend
(X) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die

(X) purposely set a part of myself on fire. (yes its true)
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone in person from LJ
( ) been moshing at a concert

( ) been in an abusive relationship
( ) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel

( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up

(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school

( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake

(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat

(x) won a contest
( ) ran a red light
( ) been suspended from school/work
(x) had detention
( ) been in a car accident

( ) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight

(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with Post-it notes

(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying

( ) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) Sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins (and paid for tolls in pennies!!)

(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) kissed in the rain

(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach

( ) crashed a party and took their tap
( ) traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey

( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed penis in class/work/in public
(x) ate dog/cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them

(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
( ) fucked in a park
(x) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something

( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes (Halloween!)
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top

( ) had sex at a church
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (ive been doing a lot of that lately!)
(x) stayed up all night

(x) didn't take a shower for a week
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone

(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch

(x) played chicken fight
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused

( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed

(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name

(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house

now you know the awful truth.

Current Mood: creative
Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
1:58 am
Did I really have too let go ?
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
2:18 am
The Hug Patrol : Doing everything we can to score a free hug since 1897
I am so happy. I just talked to a good friend of mine who I talked to since the summer. I thought she would forget me by now. Durring my Driver Wheel course I made good friends with this girl called Pip. Thats her nickname. Her real name is Devan. If you are wondering who she is here is a picture...

I remember that day well in the picture. We spent the time listening to the Elisa cd Then comes the sun. The one Francesca gave to me. I brought my little dollar store speakers and cd walkman to the beach. She fell in love with Elisa and asked me almost everynight to borrow my cd walkman so she could listen to Elisa. She doesn't know why she loves her so much because she is a hard rock fan.

So sometime near the end of the summer she said she was going to download her songs when she got home. But I had a feeling she would spell her name as Eliza...like so many of the workers at the cd shops...bloody hell. So I said I will burn her a cd. Then the summer was over. We went home. She lives up north in North Bay. Good 8 hour drive or so. Ive been there once over a year ago on a unit road move weekend. I didn't start with burning her the cd because I knew she was going to go live in Africa for a few months helping rebuild houses and schools. This was not army related so it would be hard to reach her.

Then April comes around and I was talking to Dale on msn. He was in our Mod tent as well for drive wheel and he too is friends with pip. He told me at the mid of April she came back home. Thats when it hit me that I was suppose to make the cd for her. I wassn't sure if I should fo sent one or not but then I got a kick ass idea. I was going to burn her the cd with the words written on the cd. For pip. I was going to mail it to Dale then Dale was going to put it in her mailbox at their unit. But turns out they didn't give them their own mailboxes liek i have at my unit. I wasn't goingto send a letter, just the cd to see if she remember then Dale will tell her like right after who it was from... just for that cool moment. But it didn't get to work that way. Why do non of my cool plans never get worked out...arg! I still mailed the cd to Dale but with the words Elsa mix cd written on the cd and with a written letter.

Today I sign into my msn and i get the message that this person added me to their msn list. Up to now I forgot her first name and the msn name she used was Dev. So I ask who she is, she gave a little lol (as too a little smile ) She says its Devan. and she told me to check my e-mail. It all kicked in...it was funny. Then I read her e-mail, really did shocked me. She first told me that the cd was the nicest thing anyone has ever done because after a good long silence I still remembered and kept my word. Eventhough it was one of those things where its like..oh I'll make you a copy some day..where you know they wont... and I still did. She says it made her month...that gave me a really big smile because I try hard to make people's day.. and I do a whole months work...lol.

She told me all about Africa. She lived on the Ivry coast. In one of the French Regions. She had some trouble because she doesn't speak a word of french. She told me that at her house that her backyard was the cliffs. and when she would go outside to the cliffs the Ocean spray would hit her in the face. She would climb down these cliffs. To her front yard a short walk to a foot of a mountain that she would climb almost three times a week. When she first came she was at a hospital where she saw somone give birth for the first time. Its really amazing what she did. She told me that on the day she came back to Canada, it felt so much like a dream. Would of loved to be in that dream.

In my letter I gave her my e-mail. I am happy she remember me. I am still mad at Mannel, Todt, cook and some of the other guys. They all thought she was very ugly..like blah ugly. But I found her very pretty and cute. I remember the one day I was sitting on her cot and she was showing me pictures of prom.. There was this picture she had a extra of. with her and her friends. Very pretty friends as well. All dressed up and and they were al on the ground having fun. I kinda in a way ask her if I could have the extra copy...because I liked it so much.. she gave it to me... well in a way she kinda offered it to me as well... its hard to explain how it really happen. But I but my picture between a cd case and my cd walkman because she was giving it back to me because she was cleaning out her barracks box, well now comes Mannel and cook and a few others. They find the picture that they thought I was hiding and ask me out loud why I was hiding her picture. I told them she gave me that photo because I am her friend. I looked over to her..we are friends right? She nods...then I look back at the guys saying.. yeah because we are friends... was a very funny moment for all of us.. But I still have that photo. I liked her so much...and again like many girls I liked, she was allready taken, her boyfriend was in Petawawa though. I cursed at myself for having to be so loyal. I see many guys still going after girls trying to get them into bed..even if they are taken.. and with her boyfriend 358km away..most guys would have thier way with the girl..but I am not like that. So eventhough we did spend a few days alone... to the beach or town or back at base...I kept my distence. Very hard to do, plus by now I was so much in love with Hannah (bartman) but out of the few people I told I told in my tent about Bartman, I never told Devan about her. I don't know why.

Only two people in my driver wheel course knew about how much I loved Bartman. Dale and the one girl who right now cannot remember her name. Dale found out when he was asking why I was putting wild flowers together.But for my friend who was a Master Corporal medic..Martins..that was it. I told her about Bartman. I ask her for so much advice.. She knew about my sneaking letters. One day in the mess when we were sitting next to each other she ask me to point out witch one was Bartman when she was walking into the mess hall. When I had to point her out..wow was she looking ever so beautiful, she had her tired look because she was working hard...but just her look really... Martins knew witch one I was looking at because she told me to put my jaw back in my mouth. Martins had to leave the Driver wheel course a week before it ended for school. So I never got to tell her about the big hug thing. To bad for Martins, she didn't get to see how it ended because she called my conflict with Hannah a very long mushy play on stage.

Wow, I started off talking about my friend Devan and I am talking about Bartman. lol
but yeah, this is my story.
Thursday, May 5th, 2005
11:47 pm
Wow za hers
Why do good things have to happen to me but have a flaw.

I am now becomming very good friends with a girl name Battah at my unit. Very pretty and funny and she has seen some of my charm, I keep my charm to a min for her because she already has a boyfriend and she is kinda 26 or 27. But tomorrow we are going to a football match. She doesn't live to far from me so she is going to pick me up. The football team is from England. We got to meet them tonight in the mess because they are staying at our base. Its so funny because when they were trying to talk to the bartender... she had no clue what they were talking about then I would whisper to her what they are saying. Its sad i know most of my slang... its true, I do watch to much Brittish/ Aussie tv and movies.

It sucks when almost every girl I fall mad for are allways already taken or live across the ocean or just to far away. I do have local girls here that I like but I cannot see going far. I really don't want to get into a bluff relationship where I know it wont last to long because my feelings are else where. Ive seen or here...here is a good example to base this on. Trueman show with Jim Carry. His heart was set with that one girl he met in the libary. I know that she was taken away, but he didn't know why but forced himself to love that one girl..they got married and they are still strangers after so many years. I really don't want to end up being married to somone that there is no magic, eventhough my magic is used on all...lol...j/k. But I know its going to be hard and long to find the girl I truely am mad for who can be mad for me back. So I may have to be in a blunt..I guess it wont be too bad. But a day doesn't go by when I think about Salas or Hannah (Bartman) or Sanna. The sanna and I still have a chance.. Ive told her I would move to Finland and join the Finnish army to be with her... and I would too. I already worked on my speech on what I would say to the new recruits who are forced to join the army at 18...and its a really good speech, just need to translate it into Finnish. lol.

For Battah I have known her since September or October but not close..no more then a hello. Last weekend we did a tasking together with the Royal Hamilton Light Infrantry as Drivers. We drove MLVWs around Meaford base for them. So we spend the whole weekend and we got to see each other's good side and yes my charm was there..my charm is allways being used. Girls in the army call it the Obi charm. lol, yeah I know I am full of myself...just too funny.

But I guess even if she wasn't taken not to much can happen. SHe is like 6 years older then me. But I get crushes on almost everyone..nomatter the shape or size. I remember this one girl Martins who slept across from me in my mod tent in Driver Wheel. she was like 29. Very pretty. We became good friends. I told her about Bartman and all the sneaking around. She may be a master Corporal but I still told her..lol. She also gave me some advice as well that I have learn alot about. She was great, helped me alot. But Battah does not look a day older then 22.

But the summer is comming and who knows what girl I can use my Obi charm on???

Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
4:25 am
Well.. Hannah Bartman... the girl from my summer SQ I told you about many of times. She broke up with her boyfriend. They broke up because well this is how it went.

Her b/f was over at her house and she said "lets go out for lunch" so what did he say? "ok, but first go change into somthing better" That got her very mad and upset because he had no right to tell her what she can and cannot wear. The clothes thing was no problem but trying to control her got her mad. That got me mad too because that is kinda disrespectful telling people what to wear because thats how they want you to be seen with them.

All she was wearing was shorts and a white t-shirt. Summer wear. Its been bloody warm. So I try hard to cheer her up useing some of my best known Obi charm. It got her smileing. A job well done. I also told her stories about other friends of mine..where they brake up because they would make fun of eachother music or fav movie. Somthing small... can start a small fight. Both sides want to win the fight so they will now say worse or bigger or do somthing stupid and the small fight becomes bigger and bigger.

To me I think its god they broke up. She has been hurt by him many times in the past 6 months they been with eachother.

So I hope everything works out for the best for her...and I really wish we were not so far away...arg!
Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
3:48 am
Ok, this post is going to count as 2 post altogether. I will start from today and work my way to the past.

My sister Marina bought one of those exercise balls. Those really big balls used for exercise… I don’t know how else I could explain them. So My sister talked me into pumping it up for her with this small foot pump it came with. For over a hour it took me to pump because the pump was so small and a few times the valve would pop out.

So after an hour of pumping we finished it. Marina for fun decided to chase snowball with the ball. Snowball ran away. Then Marina felt bad, lift him up and tried to make him stand on the ball. As soon as Marina put him on the ball. The ball explodes because Snowballs back claws dig in deep into the ball tearing the ball. Man did we laugh so hard because it took us over a hour pump and with her stupidity, we lost the ball after a few seconds after it was complete.

Saturday night was a great night. I woke up at 6am to take my shower Its our units 40th anniversary so we had this big display down at the unit. We had weapon and truck display. We had photos everywhere and even a command post set up. Was going to be a big day with a lot of people and news reporters. But at 6am with only 1’30 min sleep in me, I was to tired. So after I was done in the washroom..I didn’t hop into the shower but I hoped into bed. I wake up and the family already left for Niagara falls NY for shopping.

Now the evening has come and its time for a big formal dinner at the Free Mason Scottish Rite building. So many officers and Sergeants at my unit are Masons so its no surprise the dinner was going to be there. I paid $25 for my ticket. I get to the building and I see a group of the master corporals and sergeants out front in there Dress uniforms.. That’s when they all turn to look at me. I look at all of them. That’s when I realized it was a black bowtie event. So after the long pause with no one talking, just looking at each other. I turn around and pretend to walk away.

I go inside where I meet Lynn’s boyfriend for the first time. Lynn is a very cute Asian girl. I always melt for Asians. So whenever I see her she says I got such a dazed look. We sit at our table. Most of the young guys (including me) sat at the end round table. We all knew each other but except for these two older people. A husband and a wife who sat at the one end next to me. They were once part of the unit till they retired. They were only in their 40s. So we chat about the unit and other things.. And chat with the rest of the group.. It was nothing but jokes. I never really laugh so hard when I am with this small group. This is also very funny. The couple who retired. They ask me if I was British because of the way I talked. I laughed so hard. I told them how I watch to much British tele because I am not a big fan of American shows. Bloody hell, I said tele… that was not forced… but anyways., they thought I was only joking until Wojick was telling them that its true that I do watch to much British shows. Its funny because I don’t have a British accent and I don’t remember using any British slang and I don’t think I used my bloody hell that day.

It was a fun night, I was really happy that Walkerton (can’t spell her name) didn’t show up. She is that girl nobody likes and who is the only girl that gets me mad and she has a crush on me so she follows me around. I couldn’t imagine how this night would have been if she was there. People still bring up the Christmas dinner and what she did to me…arg! But it was all fun. They gave a us a really nice green pen and a matching key chain. They are very nice set. At the end of the night was a dance but all the girls there were girls who were invited. So they were already taken. I was going to ask the one girl who worked at our table who served our food…was going to ask her to dance or just talk but she was too busy cleaning up. Lynn left right after the dinner and gave everyone hugs. I was the last to hug her.. Everyone gave her a light hug. When she came to me, she only said “bye obi” and waved in front of my face… I say bye..she just stands there waiting for me to hug… so she finally opens her arms…that’s when I drop down as low as I can and give her this really big tight spine cracking hug. Then I stood back up and I said. “ok bye” then she walked away all cricked like. It was great.
Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
9:29 pm
A month ago, my old section commander at my unit. Sgt. Gardner ask for people from people to help move this family out of their apartment into a townhouse. They needed all the help they can get because the father has brain cancer with only 2 months left to live and they just had there 2nd child. The 1st child is no more the 10 or so. So I said I would love to help. So on Thursday. I did not sleep a wink, I went to help move without a hour’s sleep in me. When I first met the family ,I was broken inside, The sgt. Was right, they don’t have much and what they do have is not the greatest. Also seeing the father was hard because he was strong enough to walk around and do things but I couldn’t think of being where he is right now. Can only sit around waiting for death. Waiting for the switch to turn off.

Working for the day was a blast though.. The one guy there who was good friends with the sgt. All he did was say and do funny things. And there was also the Sgt other friend. He is a black man and he joke around with that so much when moving. He made the jokes I am saying. Like its hard to explain. Like jokes where he is carrying the tv down the stairs and just making jokes about that because of stereotypes.

We load the truck up. We realize its going to be two loads. Its also raining now. The morning was clear and beautiful. We get to the townhouse and that’s when we find out that they wont give us the key to the townhouse because the lease starts tomorrow. So this sucks because They had to move out today and they couldn’t move in till tomorrow. Boy the sgt was mad. He gave them hell but in a nice way. We did get the keys to the garage though, but there isn’t a door that leads from the garage to the inside of the house. So we had to load everything into the garage. Again more big jokes are being said while working that was way to funny. That’s why I thought this post was going to be funny but not really as I thought it be..lol, sorry Francesca.

After all the moving the sgt. Treated us for lunch at Wendys. The really funny guy picked up the atm machine where it looks like a calculator. He picked that up and saying with a Russian accent. “HELLO, hello, miss, your phone isn’t working…hello. He said this out loud and I can see the worker trying not to laugh.. But there was people all around it was great. Then we all went to sit down… The sgt was still busy getting his ketup and straws. The 5 of us sat in a small booth and the one guy in a chair at the edge. The sgt came and we all looked down ignoring him…it was great. But then the one girl went to go sit with her.

So the 4 of us at the booth are talking. And the funny guy now puts on a East Indian accent. I forget how it started but he goes ok..what..you all want to pray..fine.. He points to the mat on the ground by the door to wipe your feet, he goes ok lets pray out loud in his accent… Buddy basically stood up and grabbed him and sat him down. If he didn’t stop him ,I know for sure he would started praying in the middle of Wendys.

Now its night time and my unit night. I show up…we did our half day work for our half day pay. At the end of the night I was mad because Polango, I told you stories of this creep. He left at the end of December out west to Alberta. He came back today for a surprise visit. Thought I never see him again. I mean that in a good way. We were all sitting and talking. Polango was beside me but talking to others and I was talking with my group of friends. Polango then turns to me and says “Why havn’t you said hello to me yet? I look at him… then I turn back to my group and say “SO ANY WAYS..” man that got the room laughing and Polango with a bitter face. But I turn around to shake his hand. I can’t remember what he ask me but he was asking if I have been doing my best at the unit..I say no! he says if I am doing this or that..I would say no (as a joke because ive been doing a lot for the unit) I was just playing around with him till he gave up on me… Then now the section commander came in the room to say a few things..same thing for a few officers and such. We are doing a big unit ex next weekend. So far out of the whole unit I am the only one going…bloody hell ,its going to be fun… But seems like everyone is working that weekend. So far no word about it being cancled. But it seems like for any tasking or any ex… I am the onlyone in the room with my hand up for going for anything.

Then went home and went to sleep… and I pray to Ghisno that I don’t have to see Polango for another good year or so… I better go reg force by then…
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
4:42 am
Woohoo, the office remake is a big flop. Just like Coupling..The American version sucks. Why the hell did they waist the time to use the same script but replacing them with American actors...who can't act. The casting was awful. No way in hell anyone can fall in love with these stupid bad acting people. They had to change so many jokes because of the American cencers. Like in the British version Tim (who is call Jim in the American version) He would phone Gareth. Gareth would pick up the phone and Tim would yell "cock" then hang up. They didn't have these type of funny jokes in the American version. Again the Americans fail with remakes..and I am happy because they better learn from their mistakes... that if its British, its better. So NBC, STAY THE FLIP AWAY FROM FATHER TED YOU GOBSHITES.

Francesca, if you watched the pilot of The office American version... don't be alarmed... the BBC version is nothing like what you saw if you watched it. The casting is good, the acting is good..the jokes are funny, the acting is great, and the show had a more real feeling then a sitcom feeling like the American version. I cannot see The American version lasting much longer... Sure they may have filmed a few eps already. I think The American version of coupling already had the first 12 eps taped. Only the first 3 eps aired... that flopped big time.

But yeah! goodbye office... don't come back until you turn British.
Saturday, March 26th, 2005
4:16 pm
The Exercise in Battle Creek Michigan
Wow where to start. I waited a long time for this ex and one of the reasons why I wanted to go advance party. I got down to my base at 5:30am. When the 4 of us all were down there we left the base around 6am. I gotta drive all the way to Windsor where we met up with the other SVC BN of the brigade. From there we all drove to Battle Creek Mi.

After only doing about 30 min of work we were done for the day. Since we all got our travel claims in advance so we could buy our meals, we eat out at very expensive places. On our advance party Was a warrant, a master corporal and a corporal, oh and myself. We eat at a very expensive Italian restaurant and the MCPL and I played KENO at the bar. I lost on every card.

After that we drove to almost every gas station so that we can find magazines to read. When we got fed up we ask this one young girl at the counter where we can buy magazines. She looked at us funny. 4 guys asking for magazines can only get one thing one people’s minds. We had to explain to her we were looking for normal mags. She told us about the 24H Myiers (Forget what its called) It was across town. I cant believe how hard it is to find a magazine in the town. We get to the store and it bloody amazed me how big it is, and that its 24h. We ran all over the store. I picked up $10 computer speakers for my personal dvd player I brought along and I bought game cube games and a few other things.

We woke up Friday, cleaned the washroom in the barracks. That was it for work, then we were off for the rest of the night. (earned my full day pay) The American barracks are so ichy. Id rather sleep in the mud when its pissing rain (again) then spend another night in a American barracks….eww. So again with the going out and shopping and eating pricey foods.

The main party show up at like 2:30am. They were forced into bed because everyone has to get up by 6am to start the day.

Saturday was a wicked day. It rained non stop. Non of us complain because it was great for the setting. Name a war movie that doesn’t have their big battle scenes in the rain. Sat morning my group’s first mission is to recon and take over a 3 story house by force. I was made T-Flash guy. T - Flashes are used for clearing rooms. They look like a stick of dynamite. I got to carry like 10 on my body while everyone else had only 1-2each. When heading to the house we were spotted and the enemy open fired. Buddy threw a purple smoke gernade. That’s when my team of three dashed for the front door under the smoke screne. The ice under our feet running so fast made the 3 of us fall on our arses, boy did that hurt. The 3 of us get to the side of the house. We have no clue where team one is right now… the 6 of us were cut into 2 for takeing over the house. But I covered the side of the house. We threw the one guy in our group into the basement with a 6 feet fall head first… he cleared that for us then he came out, then we enter the window for the main level. Open up to a living room type of room. We open the door to the hallway// the backdoor was open with a enemy outside shooting at us… so I used the cover of the wall… and without seeing where the enemy guy was.. I lit a T-Flash and threw it towards him..the Kaboom. The shooting stopped. We now find out that team one is on the top floor and the basement still not clear and the rest of the main level. SO I stay behind watching over the backdoor exit and the stairs to the basement. I was alone… kinda scary, then I see a head pop out of the downstairs hallway… Out comes my T-Flash… One after the other I kept 4 guys stucked downstairs. WE WON THE DAY..WOOHOO.

We broke for lunch. Then the rest of the day was live fire ranges. We got to fire on the C9 Light machine gun. 200 rounds. Last time I fired the C9 was in the summer with only 100 rounds.

Then we did the C7 riffle range with 8 megs of ammo each. First time ever I got to do automatic fire with live rounds. Each burst shook me…So much fun. Out of 180 from our unit that said was coming. Enough ammo for 200 troops were ordered. Only 93 of us showed up.. So we got to do a double load of ammo and we didn’t want to save anything because its hard to cross the border with ammo. They had a hard time the first time…so much fun.
We end the day cleaning our riffles. Between the bunks in the small open space.. 7 of us sat around my dvd player watching The gods must be crazy and cleaning our riffles. Then we spent the night talking till we went to sleep. The morning we packed up and went home. A lot of fun that weekend..so much more happen then I can say really.
Friday, March 11th, 2005
2:42 am
Name:Comrade Steve Obratov
Birthday:24 Nov 84
Birthplace:Soviet Russia
Current Location:Moscow
Eye Color:Black
Hair Color:Black
Height:Not taller then the great Stalin
Right Handed or Left Handed:Left hand
Your Heritage:Soviet.
The Shoes You Wore Today:whore my army boots with pride.
Your Weakness:Fascist pigs
Your Fears:The fall of Stalingrad.
Your Perfect Pizza:We only have one type of pizza. Plain bread.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Is conquering the world to big to achieve in a year's time?
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:Those "In Soviet Russia..." jokes.
Thoughts First Waking Up:Oh god no, the Germans are invading again.
Your Best Physical Feature:My iron fist
Your Bedtime:city curfew is at 18:00 (6pm)
Your Most Missed Memory:The Beautiful women working in the potato fields.
Pepsi or Coke:Coke. Because of the red signs. Thats why we have them placed around Red Square.
MacDonalds or Burger King:What is MacDonalds or Burger King? Sound American.
Single or Group Dates:Groups. Stay in groups.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:yummm, I sure do miss tea.
Chocolate or Vanilla:Chocolate or Vanilla? I can choose between the two?
Cappuccino or Coffee:Capp or coffee... what the
Do you Smoke:smokes? drinks? holy dubah, what country gives you these as options?
Do you Swear:no, its 10 days no food and water in a cold cell with no lights if we swear.
Do you Sing:Revolution songs
Do you Shower Daily:The city showers are only open on Sundays, and I don't like waiting two hours in line just to shower.
Have you Been in Love:With Mother Russia
Do you want to go to College:Everything I need to know, I learn in the steel mill.
Do you want to get Married:Yes of course, I need children, so that they can help my milk the city cow.
Do you belive in yourself:I believe what ever the propaganda films say I should believe in myself.
Do you get Motion Sickness:no. If we do, we get shot.
Do you think you are Attractive:What is wrong with my big belly and grey beard.
Are you a Health Freak:I say again. Whats wrong with my big belly and grey beard at 20 years old?
Do you get along with your Parents:I don't know who my parents are. The army took them away when i was little.
Do you like Thunderstorms:Iron thunderstorms?
Do you play an Instrument:I do, but my only instrument I had I sold it to Miss Zhivago and she gave it to her son Yuri who became a doctor.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:You asking if a Russian drank Alcohol? where is the red army to take you away?
In the past month have you Smoked:when I am not drinking.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:I must be on drugs now, Its 2005 and I still think its Soviet Russia
In the past month have you gone on a Date:Dates? ha! Little Sissy boys giving flowers and sharing a soda with there 'sweethearts' . We don’t go on dates, we pick who we choose.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:Is that the place where its only open on Sunday and we have to wait 3 hours in line for bread. Where we get to choose to go in line for a shower, or go in line for bread? then yes.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:A box. That sounds like a year's supply of food rations.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:I look my fished cooked. Meduim rare. so just put down, Kinda.
In the past month have you been on Stage:stage..stage? another word for interugated?
In the past month have you been Dumped:Eventhough this is the Soviet Russia, girls can still say no.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:What, use my bread money for bathingsuit. Plus its below 40 here. And thats on a hot day.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:no..again with the jail cells and fireing squads.
Ever been Drunk:ok..for real now, where is the secret police to take you away?
Ever been called a Tease:Been called many of things, but never a tease.
Ever been Beaten up:By the red army or the secret police? there is a difference you know.
Ever Shoplifted:What else can we take but bread..and let me just say, the extra bread was worth the 10 days in a dark cold cell. Free vacation.
How do you want to Die:Eating Chocolet and Vanilla..at the same time.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:Whats wrong with being in my steel mill? I guess joinning the red army is not all to bad.
What country would you most like to Visit:East Germany.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:
Favourite Hair Color:
Short or Long Hair:
Best Clothing Style:
Number of Drugs I have taken:
Number of CDs I own:
Number of Piercings:
Number of Tattoos:
Number of things in my Past I Regret:

Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
10:50 pm
Friday I couldn't believe what I saw. When driving with my dad and older sister to pick up my mom from work, I looked into the car next to me and see my old friend Sharda. We have tinted windows so she couldn't see me. Been over a year and a half snce i last saw her. She is very pretty and east Indian. Saw her for a split secand...then it hit me who I just saw and looked back at the car...it was her green car that she drove me home a few times with. Last thing I have heard she moved ot Toronto to goto school.

On Saturday I couldn't sleep then decided to get out of bed and give up on sleeping. I got dressed for work and took the 5:50am bus to downtown because I didn't want to wake my dad at 6:30 to get a ride.
I get downtown and I see Salas stepping out of her 'soon to be husband's truck. Its just awful she is in love with a 43 year old. She is only 17 and they started dateing when she was 16. But I sitll went up and greeted him again. I was very happy that Salas came because whenever I do anything with my unit. I am the only privite and everyone else would be corporals to Sargeants so it was great to see her.

The group of us headed to the Armoures to set up for the recruiting day where all the Hamilton units are setting up to display what we have to the public to try to get them to join. My job was to talk about the LSVW. A small cargo truck that i love to drive. I had a great sales pitch. I would get the guy or girl in the front seat of the truck talking about the truck and how fun it is to drive. Saying that we are still soldier's first and we do the same work as those in the infrantry plus drive trucks on top of that so its double the work. I would say to them. "What sounds more cool.. shooting guns or shooting guns and driving trucks" Then I will go back about the truck and they get all happy like if they wanted to drive it right now. Then I tell them to look out the driver window where they see The HLVW. A truck so big i can walk under. (I learn to drive the HL in the summer) So I tell them after a year thats what they get to drive. Wide eyes.

I got to meet alot of my friends who I did my basic trainning with for my first summer, they were all surprise to see me still being in the army because of what happen to my first attempt of SQ. Then my family came down with the 2 little kids my sister babysits. Lilly and Logan. I called my sister to bring them down because I can let them sit in the big trucks. They sure did love that. Will post pictures soon.

Sunday was not a fun day. Maintance day. Once a month we have a day where we can come in and learn or review on the trucks. This all just started. One thing we did was that we had to know how to do a full DI of a truck and know every part of the truck inside out. The LSVW I had no problem with but the MLVW. A very big truck I can drive with 6 wheels. Havn't been inside or seen the inside or even drove the ML since the summer. So it was a great review before my road test.

Everyone else went onto a road move to practice CHILDRENS CLAWS. Something every trucker should know off by heart. But I stayed behind to do 2 road test. One with the milcot and the other was the ML. I pass the Milcot because I have been driving it none stop on every road move. But the ML, had no problem driveing. For a big truck ,very slow on the highway, could only get it to 90km on a 100km highway.

I get back to base and now the hard part. I havn't backed up a truck this big on my own sincemy driver wheel. Whenever we back up we have the co driver as a ground guide to help us back up into the parking spot, but for the road test, you have to ask the instructor, he will say no..then you get out to walk around the truck...get back in, then double honk the horn.. I did all that but my judgment was off. To back up such a truck you can only really look in the side mirrors. Took me like 10 minuets. Was to far right or left. One time even hit the side mirror of the truck next to me... so I had a hard time. Then after the fustrated sargeant gave up on me he told me what to do. He said to me that on Thursday I will have a backing up test. If I fail it, then i fail the whole MLVW test with it. So far I barely passed it. When you get 40 points you fail. I got 35. In the summer I got in the low 20's. All 3 trucks were in the low 20's but its been a long time since I last drove the ML so I did have a little bit of a hard time with a few things but still drove ok. What really hit me what the two wide turns I did that cost 5 points each so there goes 10 points like that.

Today I walk to downtown and i bought the futurama dvd volume 4 box set. When I got home I open it and the 3rd disk was missing. So Had to go back downtown to return it, they didn't have another copy so now they order it for me. ..arg!

I'm just in a bad mood... getting tired of things going on in general around me... arg!
Sunday, February 6th, 2005
11:26 pm
Cable 14
Well. Looks like I got a comeback to Cable 14.

On Wednesday I went back to C14 since my last visit back in September. I got so bored with the place...but I missed it. Made so many friends... got to set up so many mobiles...great time to use my leadership skills, plus I got my very fist award for anything from them...so its not so bad. Wednesday was fun though... I show up and this new guy is working there on the payroll. He took the job from this guy name Sean. What he does is that he sets up the lighting in the studio and sets up other things. While I was there I ask him if he wanted help setting up the audio... I won my award for my great audio work...it was hard telling him that I know what I am doing and why I am doing it.... because whenever I did something he told me why I would do it and gave my pointers... Then Tori came in. She is this wonderful cute girl. She was a coop after I was. She told me about how her Grandma was in the Polish army durring ww2 and was sent to a concentration camp. She told me all that but this time she told me about her on the inside the camp. She had blonde hair blue eyes and the SS gaurds were afraid of her. People thought she was a witch because of her hair and the way she looked... so they were afraid to kill her. Her son (Tori's uncle) was a child in that camp and he got sick. When Tori's grandma found out..she started yelling at the SS of why they are not doing anythign about her son... so they treated him...to me that was amazeing. I was so amazed when she was telling me all this. This has to be the first story I have heard where someone stood up to a SS gaurd in a concentration camp and lived. I remember reading this one story in the newspaper where this one lady after getting off the train..and took a real shower (notthe code word for gas) then when they were given the striped dresses, her dress didnot fit so when she went to go tell the ss officer he beat her to death infront of all the people. so I was amazed to here.

After the show and everyone is in the lobby. Tori and I were in Elisabeth's office waiting for her...but for the mean time we decided to have alot of fun. We wrote messages on her callender on dates like..."Goingto a gay pub to pick up guys" things like that. Then we found her christmas santa hat...a old candycanes...some christmas cards and mugs and many more christmas things from the holidays in her cabinet. SO he put them up around the room. We did alot of small things like that then we heard her comming so we ran out of the office. Then Liz enter her office and we all joined her and watching her face as she started noticeing some of our things we have done was priceless.

Before I left I ask if I could do floor director for Tuesday. The live show they do every Tuesday is the best show they have and most watched. So it be fun running the show from the studio.
Friday, February 4th, 2005
9:02 pm
Here is the list. I was gonna be more detail like have my fav comedy movie, my fav romantic ,my fav foregin ..like that but be to much to go through so I just made it all into top ten. I knew my top 3-5 for all the topics but I had to go over all my films and music again to agree with the voices in my head who I like better. so enjoy.


1. The Bridge (Die Brucke) - A German ww2 film. I just love the story line and the script. Very powerful words the kids say and the plot is amazing to be based on a true story.

2. A Bridge Too Far. - Operation Market Garden has to be my favourite story. With Arnhem being my fav town on earth. A Bridge Too Far does a good job following the History books and Documentaries and Timeline.

3. Life is Beautiful. - I can never get over what a well job they did taking such a dark topic and making it a wonderful romantic comedy.

4. Stalingrad. - The most realistic movie I’ve ever seen that is not a documentary.

5. The Man Who Would Be King. - Very good film. I love the way how much you see Sean Connery get corrupted with power.

6. Der Tunnel - Has my top two fav actresses in this film working together. Such a strong film.. I can't believe it was a tv movie, so well done with a twisted plot.

7. All Quiet on the Western Front. - There were two versions of the film. American 1930 version. and the 1970's British Version. I like the 1970's one better because it sticks with the setting that Remarque wanted for his book. The whole anti war, war is bad. Great story because not like The American war movies, this main character is not some big shot hero. (one reason why I don't like American war films because they always make the Americans seem like they are heroes blowing tanks and killing dozens on one clip. American war films never show the true glory and the hard times.)

8. The Power of One. - Another strong film with great story line. Small British boy living in South Africa grows up becoming a great boxer and fighting for the right for the African people to be educated and have freedom in their own country.

9. Das Boot. - Wolfgang Peterson, one of my fav directors.. he directed Troy and many others.

10. Bandits. - My first Foreign film I fell in love with. Think its this movie that open me up to Euro films that I now own so many.

T.V. Shows.

1. Ocean Girl. - I grew up loving this show. Its from Australia. The storyline are zainy, but I can't help it, I just love the characters and dry humour.

2. Father Ted. - Very funny Irish show. A broken house filled with 3 Catholic priest and their house keeper. Father Ted gambles to much. Doogle is a big dummy doing silly things and saying the funniest things ever. Father Jack who just sits there saying nothing but "Drink, Feck ,Arse ,Girls" I love this show

3. COMBAT! A show from the 60's. Its the only War setting tv show I like. It is a American show but its great. I hate all the other American war shows... Band of Brothers was a band of crap. I love saying that..lol

4. Mr. Bean. - He is so freaken funny. So many times I would use his type of humour in my daily life. I learn from the best.

5. 3 Stooges. - Yes I'm a stooge fan.

6. Fawlty Towers. - John Cleese who runs a over rated hotel. its a classic.

7. Simpsons. - The best Family ever

8. Coupling. - Best British show I’ve ever seen. awesome script and everything. I watch our DVDs all the time, and every time I piss myself laughing.

9. Ready or Not. - Canadian show I grew up with. Best Drama show I’ve ever seen. Deals with everyday problems that twp best friends can have with realistic outcomes. And like many best friends..over the years you see them drift off slowly.

10. Futurama. - From the creator of the Simpsons, I love this show, wish it wasn't cancelled.

Music Groups / Singers.

1. Cranberries. - First band I ever loved and still do.

2. Great Big Sea. - Only Canadian music group I like. I don't like any American music group..all one hit wonders.

3. Elisa - Italian singer with amazing voice.

4. Tatu - I still love them..

5. Emile Simon. - French singer from Paris. Did I ever show you her Flowers song?

6. Jenifer. - French singer with really wonderful songs. I may not understand them but I can 'feel them' lol

7. Rammstein. - Its funny that I like them because they don't fit in well with my fav singers..lol. But I love their songs.

8. 883/Max Pezzali. - Italian As you may notice, not to many male singers I like. there are a few but female singing voices are a lot better. But I love his songs. If you wanna hear a really good Italian song, let me know, there is this one song I love so much. At the end there is this girl singer named Syria with a very Beautiful voice, She is one of my fav Italian singers so I was happy to have them both singing together.

9. Melissa Mars. - Again she is a French Singer. I have many more French singers I love. I love Mars for her singing. La lala la.

10. St. Etienne. - British. 10th place was hard to choose. But I love St. Etienne for her songs. Not normal songs like everyone else. She sings that Marble lions song I gave you. "Stars are calling, goodnight Darling"


1. All Quiet on the Western Front. - Again like the movie, I love how realistic it is and shows the bad side of war and not every soldier are heroes. I found out Hitler when he was in power was upset about this book sent out for Erich Maria Remarque to be shot for writing this book and his few others back in the late 20's early 30's. He escaped so they shot his sister instead... all because it didn't show German soldiers being heroes.

2. The Da Vinci code. - When you read it you see why. Yes it has its cheesy side, but its a great pace.

3. The Unknown Soldier. - Very well written book. I learn a lot about Finland during ww2 and what they did and what Finland was under. I didn't know that the Germans Supply the Fins with gear if they let them pass through thier land to open a new front in the Russian campaign. Finland was lucky that Germany made a deal with Finland because Germany is known for just barging in taking what they want...

4. Lord of the Rings collection. - Come on, its LOTR... do I need to explain?

5. Crabbe. - Canadian book. Rich boy runs away to the woods. He then learns the hard way that he doesn't know how to survive in the woods. He runs into this girl who is a run away as well. But she has something to hide that you learn very slowly and its shocking when you find out why she ran away.

6. Death of a Salesman. - I love this book how it shows what could happen if you try following the American dream. Didn't work to well for Willie Lowman.

7. Digital Fortress. - Dan Browns first book. Just like Da Vinci code, It took me only 4 days to read because It kept me to the edge of my seat. Dan Brown is good for that.

8. Angels and Demons. - Dan Brown. Its Robert Langons first adventure. takes place a year before Da Vinci code with a very powerful bomb under the Vatican city. When you Read Da Vinci code, they make a few reference to A&D.

9. Flowers for Algernon. - Reminds me of that movie At First sight. Where they let someone see the world in a normal way for a short time. He goes from being slow..after a operation..he becomes one of the smartest men and now people hate him for being so smart.. then he slowly goes back to being dumb like before.

10. Deception Point. - Dan Brown as well. Dan Brown my fav author. He is good on facts and putting me on the edge of my chair.


1. Sean Connery - Come on...He's BOND, JAMES BOND.

2. Michael Caine - Love his films. He works great with Sean Connery, like in A Bridge too far or The man who would be king.. great pair.

3. Liam Neeson. - I love how much he changes in every film. I can admit when he does his speech on how he could of saved more Jewish people when they gave him the gold ring in Schindler's List,

does make my eyes water ..a bit... he is such a good actor

4. Sean Bean. - Boramir from Fellowship of the ring. He is in so many good movies like the Sharp or Bravo two zero.

5. John Cleese. Just too funny.


1. Nicolette Krebitz - She plays Engel in Bandits. She is in so many movies. I think I have at least 4 or 5 with her in them.

2. Alexandra Maria Lara. - A Actress from Poland who is in many German films as well. She is so Beautiful.

3. Natalie Portman. - So many good movies...and she makes a wonderful queen of Naboo..lol

4. Audrey Tautou. - She is just so cute in all of her movies I’ve seen. She is the type of girl I would love to Marry some day yeah...lol

5. Lauren Hewett. - Australian actress. She plays Mera from Ocean girl. Very very beautiful girl.


1. Da Vinci. - I love his work and the history behind him. Its funny how people thought he was gay because of what romours started from the people who didn't like him...he wasn't gay...so many proof. He was just a very good artest and came up with ideas about man and woman and prooving they are equal...it is related to the true grail. Because of Da Vinci...I follow in some of his beliefs. One of the reasons why you wont find me disrespecting women. Have have many reasons why I love girls and show my respect for..some related of what I learn from Da Vinci and some I have learn on my own. His art work is amazeing as well. I have many books on his art work as well.. If it wasn't for my love of the work of Da Vinci then I wouldn't of come across the Da Vinci code the one day on the net..When I first bought it I thought it was a book on fax... surprise surprise...

Well hope you learned a lot of what I like. There are a lot more things I like..,like many foreign films I have and singers. if there is anything else you like to know about me..don't be afraid to ask. That’s why I wrote beside everything so that you would already know about them so you wouldn't need to ask about them...lol
Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
11:34 am
Last Night Memories
Had a hard time sleeping because I kept on thinking of hard and funny times from my summer and from last summer as well. I am starting to forget what mostly happen on my basic. Can't remember to many funny things that happened. Only the hard times I got from my Platoon Warrant, and the hard PT we did in the morning. Still fresh in my mind when I was to tired for PT and we were doing the wheel barrow carry. That’s where your partner goes on his hands while you hold his ankles up and you have to walk with your hands across the huge parade square as fast as you can. I did the part where I held someone’s ankles. Then when it was my turn to walk on my hands. I was going as fast as I can like we were told to. But I was getting to tired and every few feet I would slip. And every time I slip my hands and wrist would get scratched from the hard pavement. My hands and arms were cover with blood. But I kept on going… Up and down. I didn’t stop. I did give our relief of pain on every fall. Got to the point were walking on my hands were painful because of all the cuts.

One thing I don’t ever want to get out of my mind is this red head girl who we were kinda friends. I forget her name right now. She is from 23 Field Medics. We share a base in Hamilton. Are summer was so rough that non of us ever smiled. Well we would now and then but not Julie. She was always depressed. I have seen her smiled only once. That was in Petawawa when I was working in the field supply line and Julie came to help pick up flak jackets. She gave a big warm smile knowing I was ok and there and still in the army. People thought I would be out of the army after failing the 2nd basic training course because I kept on passing out. First time I seen her smile and she was wearing cam paint…lol. But I am happy because I found a bunch a pictures someone took over the summer and was giving them away to people who didn’t bring a camera. I found a pic of Julie on our first day where she actually gave a smile and a cute pose for the camera. That picture is framed and sitting on my desk now.

But this summer. When I re did my SQ was filled with laughs. Mostly funny moments that I never want to forget.

It seem like I was the only one that could smile and found the Soldier Qualify course a breeze compare to the way I was treated last year. But these guys are on these first time being away for the summer and they did their first half of their basic on every 2nd weekend. No time to be broken down or anything. So they were not use to all of this wakeing every morning at 4:55am for PT and the rush of it all. So when everyone was shaking and depressed on that long wait of silent before inspection every morning. I was the only one smiling good morning to everyone. My roommates didn’t like it how I could smile through all this.

I remember this joker McCloud. He is a very big druggy and even though your allowed to smoke weed in Canada now. The army still has a no smoking weed law and can be fine or kicked out of the army if found on you. So he had a hard time sobering up. We spend a few days calling him McClain to see if he would think that his own name is McClain. When a Officer ask him what his name was the one time “ah…ah..ah McClain sir…” We almost broke out laughing.

Same guy… The Sergeant walks into the room and looks at the back of McClouds beret. It was all chewed up.
Sarge: McCloud, what the fuck is wrong with your beret?
Cloud: My dog eat it Sergeant.
Sarge: Your dog eat your beret?
Cloud: Yes Corporal.
Sarge: Did your dog eat your brain too?
Cloud: uh…uh…..what?

The Sergeant just shake his head and looked at me while he turned. His face read that he wanted to get out of this room as fast as possible. My guess he couldn’t keep it in and had to laugh.

Now came my biggest highlight.
For some reason a lot of people hated each other on my course that made me upset because of all the back talks and talking behind people’s back went to far. It got to the point where the girls stop talking to the guys but they would talk to me because they didn’t think I was some big jerk like the other guys. So the one night when we were all working extra hard on our kit for a big inspection from Officers in the morning that if we pass we get our weekend leave. One trick for boots to keep them shiny is to use Hair spray. Only the girls had hair spray and the guys in my room bag me to get the hair spray. When I walk out of the room Salas enter our room to talk to the guys about her kit. I walk into the girls room and put on my Obi charm that I am known for. After my big game of flirting with the gals they had no problem giving me the hairspray. I was so happy with my success because all the other guys before me failed on getting the hair spray.

So as I enter my room I see that everyone is in a small group sitting on the floor with one guy with his back turn against me. I come in shakeing the can of hair spray. Doing the Goose step march that the Russians and Germans did in ww2. Singing at the top of my lungs. “NAH, Nah nana nah!. Na, na na……….” I come in marching and singing and that’s when the guy who had his back turn turn around and it clued in that was a master corporal. “Nah nana nah, na na na……wooooooooh! that’s right… I halt myself and make a big woooh! Sound with my hands and arms flying allover the place. Then standing at attention I say trying not to laugh “My apologies master corporal. He gets up and he is trying hard not to laugh, he ask me if I was on the Electric lutes …then left the room. We all brake out laughing.. We laugh so hard that everyone was rolling on the ground because of what happened. Salas who was sitting on a bed was on the ground now as well. That’s when we here “Shouldn’t you guys be working on your kit” Then we all stoped laughing…

For the rest of the course I can here people singing my song and then going woooh! To each other….lol Think everyone from the summer will never forget that day.

So many more funny things happened. Small things that I can’t remember now that I remember last night.
I just remember the last thing that I said to them when I finnish my course. When I would go to my driver wheel..I would go to our unisex mod tents for my Driver Wheel course where they will stay and go on there trades course staying in the same room with the same instructors. My last day of SQ was on the Monday. The day after the weekend leave. So when they came back Monday that’s when I told them…. “Ok, lets play a little game. You guys have to guess who’s bed I slept in the nip in last night.” then I left……

Many things happen on my driver wheel course but not as good as what happen on my SQ. So many bad things like seeing a machine gun blow up in a girl’s face and she was unharm..and Salas thinking she wasn’t going to live the night. But one thing I can never forget it the last time I seen Hannah. I sneaked back into my old barracks were I just did the SQ.. I went up to see Hannah for my last time. We chatted all night. They just got out from the field and she havn’t slept for like 47 hours so it was best not to ask her if she wanted to go out for a walk to relax or something. So we talked as she clean her weapons and everyone was cleaning for tomorrow. 10pm came by and the instructors were returning and I can get into deep shit for being where I am not suppose to be. So I gave Hannah 2 really long big hugs. Turn out to be two because after we broke away from the first hug, we went straight for the 2nd. I held her tight against me, she was at ease, as if she wanted to fall asleep in my arms. And if she did, I would of held on to her all night if I could…but I was given my filnal warning from someone keeping watch and I ran down the hall towards the fire exit stairs. Last time I saw her.

There were many stories that happen over the summer… that there is to much to write about… like that date with the Swedish girl in a wheelchair…wink wink….. But I must say for the stories that did happen..it was a great summer.
Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
3:50 pm
Saturday, December 4th, 2004
7:20 am
I am so stupid.
I don't know how I talk myself into this but I tried one of those online CASINO's. Just play $20 USD gives me a extra $20 usd. I played that. I was on the slots that take up 9 credits. I won $107. But no I didn't stop there, I raised the bet and lost the slot and went below par till I reached $0. So I decide to take out another $20 to win it back. I take out the $20 but get no bonus, guess it was a sign in bonus. I play the same game and get to $40. Enough to pay back the $20 I started from and to give back the $20 bonus Dollers. I found out if you withdraw from the CASINO you have ot pay back the bonus, its only there to give you a kick start. SO I was ok fine. I went to Cashier and I kinda click on the wrong spot and instead of withdrawing $40 and getting it send to me, I added a extra $40 to my Casino account, meaning it took out an other $40 USD makeing my account to $80 USD. This made me so mad about what a stupid thing I just did. I found the spot where I can send the money to me. I pay back the $20 bonus dollars and now have $60 usd comming my way in the mail. Why did I let my friend talk me into this. See what happens when he wins only $20. arg! But I converted the amount from what I have lost. I should only lose $8-20 CDN. Hopefully $8 cdn. That website showed me how much it would be if the bank or whoever taxes me for the conversion. So now its going to take a week or 2 for the check to come in, and I think its a 17 day wait thing for my card till they start adding on interest.

But I gave myself a big smack and promise myself not to do anything with my card unless I am buying and selling on e-bay or buying army kit on the Canadianpeacekeeper website. So stand in line to poke me.
Friday, December 3rd, 2004
4:03 am
If you love me you'll copy and paste this into a comment and fill it out. If you don't fill it out, I won't be your best friend anymore. =P

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. What is your attraction to me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word.

8. What was your first impression of me?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Best inside joke?

16. My best/worst abilities?

17. How long have you known me?

18. Four years from now, will we still be friends?
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